Politically Correct?

I was thinking today about the notion of being politically correct for the purpose of protecting a job or a family or a way of life and I tried very hard to see the point of tempering your thoughts and speeches and in this case, your writing because there is a very good chance that someone who may play a significant role in your future might read it and then...disaster. So, I sat and revisited some of the topics that I've "discussed" here over the past ten months and I realized something that I probably already knew. When you make a decision to put yourself out into the "public" or into the open, that it is only fair that you do it one hundred percent and that there is no hiding of the private parts behind sheets or demi-bras or robes. If you are going to expose yourself, hell, I say do it without fear of consequence or repercussion or regret; do it without worrying that the "someone" who may fire you from your next job is listening, or, in this case, reading what you think...

44 million adults are illiterate in this country and that number summarizes just those who are documented as such. Twenty percent of all adults in this country cannot read above a fifth grade reading level. For you Math whizzes out there, that is 1 in 5 or 20 of every hundred people out there. Those numbers, which some of you find unimportant or irrelevant are, frankly, staggering and frightening. Most standard high school exit exams which give subject area tests in English are measured at a median tenth grade reading level or close to it. You look at the figures, how many of those students are not going to pass that exam or, on the off chance that they do, how many of them will end up as functionally literate adults? And, really, what does that mean to be functionally literate anyway? Is that the same as obese as opposed to morbidly obese? I never fully understood the need for a morbid prior to the word obese; you either are or you aren't. Literacy on the other hand; there is a need to delineate the differences here and for reasons beyond just "who can read" and "who cannot."

My sister did remind me that students, my students might read this and it gave me pause for a moment; that is true and not only is it true, but my bosses, my colleagues, my neighbors, anyone who may have been told about it or who accidentally stumbles across this page might read it. But using my "naked" analogy, I cannot care or think about that if I am going to put my thoughts out there in the first place; that would be like posing for Playboy and then trying to pretend that I didn't. Either that or going store to store and buying every copy off the shelves before people have the chance to read them. I say, if you're going to do something, go big, do it whole, do it all, do it like you might not be around tomorrow at all to regret having done it in the first place. Live large, out loud, laugh at yourself and at other people, weep for the starving children and the lack of funding for programs that are continuously being cut. Don't let a teacher tell you what is best for your child especially if you think he/she is an imbecile; especially not then. Listen to your heart and act accordingly and, if someone doesn't hire me based on something that I've said that I BELIEVE in the first place, then I don't care. I'd rather do a job that I hated for the rest of my life than compromise the one thing that I will always have and that is the very soul of what you are reading; my thoughts. The only reason that I'm letting you read them is because I think that there are a lot more of you out there than you let on who are nodding your heads or laughing along with me or who desperately want someone else to recognize that there is more to life than "playing along." To you especially I will say your day will come; I just hope that you recognize it when it does and that you take full advantage of it in whatever shape or form serves your purpose.

Sometimes I cannot believe that "they" let me teach other human beings; I mean, you've read some of the things that I've written. Me? I teach other people how to... this or that and I have a forum for sharing my ideas and thoughts on those "how to" things that may or may not help to define someones life? Scary right? You are nodding now. I am the Bill Maher of the public school system? No, sorry to disappoint you, but I am a professional. Ask anyone. However, if you ask me a question, I will answer it honestly and to the best of my ability so fire away and, just be prepared for my response. Let me give you an example; the absolute pent up frustration that I've been feeling for many reasons. Again, talking with my girlfriends lately the conversations always seems to come back to sex which is great fun to discuss and to laugh about. But, again, if you've been reading, my sex drive and Tim's are apparently not quite compatible right now and I was getting tired of chasing him around the house. And because he is a man, I figured, no games, no flirting, no coy "suggesting" what I want. I just flat out told him which incidentally I have been doing, but to no avail. This time was different though and he must have heard the desperation in my voice. I called him on the phone when he was on his way home from work and I spelled it out for him and he laughed, but I sensed a change this time and when he got home... Hey it's one thing to be politically correct but it's quite another to share explicit details of my sex life and some of you are wincing right now anyway. Well, only those of you who've seen me. The rest of you can imagine whatever the hell you want, but let me just say one thing; I remember why I married that man in the first place and last night was the deepest, longest (get your minds out of the gutter) sleep that I've had in months; tension relieved... He was just reading over my shoulder this second and smirking right before he walked to the door to go out to dinner and I gave him the look, you know the look; no words necessary. And, like a true husband or, at least my very overworked and tired husband, he rolled his eyes and sighed, "Again? Yvette really?" It's only 7":30, I'll let you know how it turns out...

So, political correctness; I suppose it's fine in the PTA meetings, but not if you want to get anything accomplished. And, I suppose it's fine in the workplace if you don't mind lying to your asshole boss every day just to save your job; then again, in this economy, desperate measures are often required. And in your relationships, being PC doesn't mean anything other than trying not to hurt someone Else's feelings. But is that always the best course of action anyway? I fuck up all the time thinking that I'm trying to help someone out and I just end up making the situation worse. Or when I'm completely honest with someone because it is what's best for me, sometimes I don't stop to consider that it might not be what's best for them or for our relationship and, needless to say, this is a problem. Hi I'm Yvette and I have a word problem, not the math kind...

I like people very much, all kinds of people, politically correct or not. I like to think that there are ideas floating around in their minds that they will never share with me and also, the exact opposite; that maybe they might share their deepest, darkest secrets with me just because they can. I wish I had something juicy to share with you about my life, but, as you well know, my life is an open book and the pages are just not that singed around the edges. I'm vanilla compared to some of my friends and yet, you still want to know what I'm thinking; or maybe you don't and you just don't have anything better to do on a Friday night than to read this pathetic discourse which really, by definition, isn't a discourse. So, here's my last bit of advice, well, I didn't really give any tonight, so here's some that might help, just for tonight and, for the morons out there, pick and choose from the numbers. Don't do all of them tonight or in the numerical order. That should go without saying, but I know there are several idiots out there so that is for you:
1. Watch the movie, How To Train Your Dragon keep Kleenex close by
2. Make a really strong margarita on the rocks; use Patron and two limes, with salt on the rim
3. Put on something sexy underneath what you are wearing and boys, not a condom under the pants. This one is mostly for the ladies.
4. Describe to your significant other exactly what you want them to do to you in specific detail and forget about the romantic notions for now. Trust me on this one.
5. Eat any flavor of Haagen Dazs ice cream and eat the whole damn pint; peanut butter and chocolate is my favorite, almost orgasmic that one.
6. Read anything by James Patterson; easy, quick and you will at least be reading.
7. Phone a friend...
8. Go for a run...

That's what I'm going to do right now and then, I'm going to wait to pounce on the husband when he gets home. I know, you wish I had left that out, but that would defeat the very purpose of what I was saying in the first place. Political correctness is not my mistress nor will she ever be. Sorry Tim, all he saw was the word mistress. Happy Friday night...