I love to listen to Heidi & Frank on KLOS in the mornings. I like KLOS anyway, but they are a fun and lively duo who say things that pretty much make me smile, even if I only get to listen for a few minutes on my drive somewhere. At the end of each show, they "apologize" to all of the listeners and organizations that they may have offended during that day's broadcast. I think the apology list is one of the best parts of the show. Having said that, I probably should make out a daily apology list, but instead, I thought it might be more interesting to make a "week" list of all of the events that occurred in my life for one week: Yvette Hawley, 43, mother of 3, teacher, wife, potential candidate for some kind of medication down the road...
I think Valentine's day is stupid. For kids and for people who love it, I have no problem with that, but when I was at CVS the night before the "BIG" day and I watched as people scrambled to buy cards and pointless knick knacks for their significant others, I thought, I honestly thought, what a fucking waste of time and resources. Consumerism at its worst or best I suppose, depending on how you look at it. Conversely, I enjoyed watching Ty make his Valentine's box and Nick and Jake participate in this sadistic ritual that encourages the forced spending of money on shit you don't need. A note may be enough in the future, a flower, chocolate (ok, this is always a good bet, but a bag of M&M's will do). For my foodserver friends, Valentine's Day could be a bankable night or it could suck depending on what kind of clientele came in for the night. I will never forget this couple who came in, they had reservations and when I approached the table they both smiled at me, greeted me and I remember thinking, ok, this is going to be a good one. And then, I swear, the guy pulls out a hundred dollar bill, hands it to me and says, "We want to spend the whole thing. Order us whatever up to 100 bucks." I smiled because that was part of the job and I walked away thinking, "I'm fucked." They left me 62 cents. Ah, the good old days. Aside from that, as always, I don't care what other people do, but now, Valentine's Day is a good friend's birthday and that's it for me. Wave a heart in my face at your peril...
I went back to work this week and I was overjoyed to see several former students, two of whom I haven't seen in over a year, who came back to enroll in my class when they saw my name. Now how good does THAT make me feel. I hope I do the class justice since I haven't taught this one before, but whatever happens, it was so genuinely wonderful to see them again. Another semester; I really do love to teach. It has been a real gift in my life.
I met "Roxy" last night at Drag Queen Bingo. Hambuger Mary's, West Hollywood, a friend's fundraiser for APLA... I got to fill in and hand out Bingo cards last night for a little while and I had a great time, seeing familiar faces, meeting new people and listening to the hilarious antics that ensue when a 6 foot tall "Queen" in 4 inch heels that I couldn't pull off is telling a customer to grab the table, stick out his ass and who then proceeds to smack him, HARD before the crowd shouts out "NO FALSE BINGOS!" At least that is what I heard, I was laughing pretty hard. Bingo is full anyway, but with this crowd and that MC, I am definitely going back for the next one.
I scaled a rock wall with Nick... and I rang the bell at the top. Legoland in Carlsbad is as much fun as I remember and I haven't been there in awhile so it was like reliving those moments with Jake, but this time, it was with Ty and of course, with Nick. We ate, laughed, ran around with friends, went on rides and just enjoyed the absolutely beautiful SoCal weather that encourages all people to come to California. It was a lovely day, even the drive home at sunset was spectacular. Needless to say, we all slept well that night.
Finished my Science Fair essay draft, I mean Nick's Science Fair essay draft... Here's the thing, well, here's the "many" things. The Science Fair is a great idea... in theory. Hypothesis, experiment, results... fantastic. Visualizing, reporting, concluding... fabulous. Writing up the whole damn thing... nightmare. Nick is a strong auditory learner so to have him sit down at the computer to type up an entire report, with references. Can you feel me cringing as I type this? I exaggerate not, it took HOURS to finish that report and although he did 90% of the writing/typing, it was so difficult not to just step in and take over. By the end, we were both crying and the 10% that I contributed, mostly editing, felt like a painful exercise in retraction. I winced when I looked at some of the material so I changed very little although, especially as an English teacher, I know what this is going to mean for his grade. But, this is how they learn, I guess. He had a great experiment, testing liquids to see how quickly each evaporates ( I lost 3 teflon pans in the process) and he came up with creative and interesting questions and ideas about how scientists who use experiments with evaporation can add to our understanding of the environment. I mean, the discussion portion alone was college level. But then, the actual processing and written portion... the report, in the end, read like a third grader wrote it. This is a conundrum for parents... some answer this puzzle by doing the work themselves, some have their children do it all and some, like me, help them, but to what end? How much help is too much? Thank goodness there are no longer Mission Projects. Clearly there are many parents who are architects or engineers. Regardless, all that is left is the dreaded Science Board... there goes next weekend...
I discovered that my quips and jokes about having ADD were actually founded as I took a legitimate psychological test and was then evaluated by the therapist that Tim and I are currently seeing to help us to improve our communication strategies and to strengthen our marriage. Blah, blah, blah. We haven't been getting along too well. We don't fight, which, if you know me, is probably difficult to believe, but we also don't "argue" very well. And so, the 5th session of therapy occurred this week. I have to admit, having gone to individual therapy a while back, it can be enlightening and very helpful. This is the case with Tim and I, at least thus far. This session was particularly interesting because the focus shifted to elements in our daily lives that are contributing to our collective "stress." And one of the huge components was my inability to follow through on "things." In light of that revelation, came even more issues with Yvette and forgetfulness, distractibility and how she is not doing these things deliberately, yet these things are having serious negative effects on our home life. And for the kids, it is especially difficult as they do not have enough consistency and balanced parenting, I accept that; as previously mentioned, I joke about it. But the issue of my job came up and my teaching and the therapist, who also formerly taught, mentioned, asked me questions about and then "hit the nail on the head" by explaining my daily teaching routine. It is the one area of my life where I have it all together. I am organized, consistent and although I do forget things or leave something at home unintentionally, I am a good teacher. Our therapist continued to examine reasons behind why certain triggers, behaviors, results come about when it comes to Adult ADD and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head and, for that matter, one in Tim's too. A diagnosis isn't a cure all. It doesn't even necessarily mean that I have it, but by accepting that there are "dimensions" to my forgetfulness and my inability to finish things, I can begin to address the issue and to hopefully, lessen the "stress" that I am apparently wreaking in our lives. More to follow...
So many events occur daily in the Hawley household, weekly, it is hard to sum up. This rant could go on for a dozen pages, but I will conclude here because I want to go and get pancakes with my kids and since they are off school, it's time to turn my attention there...
In conclusion, the sweetest little Pug named Chato came to live with us this week. I thought that it would be a good idea, per a therapist's suggestion and some research, to get a dog for Nick; one that would be his responsibility and one who would come to love him unconditionally. In short, he wanted a pug and so off to an adoption fair at Pug Rescue LA we went a few weeks ago. There, we found a little guy, about 6 or so they said, they weren't sure, who was walking around and who came right up to us when we knelt down by the pen. He looked at us like "Get me the hell out of here" which is what they all look like, but this guy wasn't jumping around all crazy; he was mellow. Nick started petting him and then we took him for a walk. He was just great. Someone surrendered him because he needed surgery on his leg and either they couldn't afford it or they didn't want to do it, so they turned him over to give him a chance. Nick chose him, we filled out the paperwork, one home inspection later and we went to pick him up...
He has been here for 5 days now and if I can accurately describe Chato in one word, I would say, well, two words, "snoring meatloaf." He is not 6 years old, he is more like 9 or 10, he has arthritis and limps a little AND he is hard of hearing. As I sit here and type, he is smashed into the couch cushions, snoring away, having just eaten his breakfast and after having gone outside to pee on Ty's playhouse, he has expended all his energy. He loves the car and he came with me to Girl's night in on Friday night where the girls attempted to rename him hence the meatloaf reference, "Pugston" "Winston Churchill" "Cheetoh" were among the few. Since I had a couple of glasses of wine, I don't remember the other ones, but, since he can't hear so well, I just kind of yell something at him and he wags his tail and turns over so that I can pet his belly and sometimes he hobbles over. I am in love with him. He is darling and my only concern is that his helath issues will keep us from having him long. I hope that is not the case, but on the upside, he can live out the rest of his life in comfort and some peace; our house isn't so peaceful these days, but he looks perfectly content. Fingers crossed he is with us for a long time...
I've signed up to do a triathlon, my first real one and I will start training, eventually... I am excited for the new challenge and I am heading out tonight to run so I can check that off the list. Maybe, if you are reading this, your life resembles mine. I bet it does. If it does, take a deep breath, have a glass of wine or two or three, but don't drive, go to yoga, kiss your kids and take another deep breath... did I mention that it is Monday. Here we go again...
