Grief...

I come in stages,
in places you could never imagine,
I come to those who need me yet who do not want me
I live in disaster
in disease
in heartbreak,
I thrive in those who meet me unexpectedly, unknowingly, when they are unprepared...
I change the way you live and think and even breathe
Sometimes I remind you of what is important and what not to take for granted
Other times I cripple you with my presence, leaving you to weep uncontrollably,
to take pills, to reach for the bottle or the razor blade,
anything to escape the crushing pressure of my fist around your heart...
You'd paint me black if you could,
as a deep, dark unknown factor, a pit, a symbol of isolation,
I am an umbrella under which you take shelter when the pain is too great and the loss is too profound
and I do help, some, but others won't survive me,
they don't know how to let me go, when to let me go
they hold me as tightly as I hold them,
not realizing that they have the power to chase me away...
in their traditions, in their ceremonies, in their love; it is in their sharing of joy and memories that I begin to dissipate,
never gone though, never fully gone,
I may return on an anniversary or on a warm day at the park when you close your eyes and think of your loved one, but I am not as strong in these moments,
in these fleeting moments, I am but a wisp of sadness, of longing,
Some call me a healer
they move through my lessons, difficult as they may be
and they come out better, stronger, more peaceful...
For those who do not, for those who cannot make their peace with me,
I can only say,
I am here, for as long as you choose, in your mind and in your tears and in the love that you carry for the lost ones,
I am here, for as long as you need me, want me and even when you don't... in those times, I hope that someone
is there for you and that
they chase me away while holding you in their arms,
tightly, warmly,
cherishing all that is good about you, about life, about hope...

I live so that you may move through the pain, but I will not be here forever;
let me go when you are ready...