This one is a rant; a diatribe against the incessant "posing" that is happening constantly and seemingly, everywhere I go. I am caught amidst groups of people who, at any moment's notice, stop what they are doing, right in the middle of doing it so that they can pose for a picture of what they are doing?!? Now, logic was not my "best" subject in school, so if someone could offer a quasi-logical explanation for this behavior, I would be willing to at least listen. Parents and teenagers seem to be the WORST offenders ever; I have literally seen parents stop the play of their children, in the middle of a joyous, rambunctious endeavor, only to have them pose, imitating the very scene that they were just engaged in so that they can take a photo of it??? I see children turn and instantly fake smile the second that the parent calls out a name or says "Smile" because they have been trained to do so; they stop, turn, smile, throw their arms around one another, wait for the "Ok, I got it" comment and then they turn back to what they are doing? I've also seen teenagers stop in the middle of an activity so that they can run to get their phones, invariably to document the moment that they have stopped living so that they can go get their phones to document it???? And, it's not just one photo or one Selfie or whatever the fuck those narcissistic, perfectly angled self portraits are called in this instant; it's like a photo montage of the memory as it is occurring; now all it needs is a freaking soundtrack to go along with it.
Where do I begin to explain what is wrong with people who stop living so that they can show others how they live? This is in fact a huge problem that I continue to have with things like Facebook. I don't have Instagram or Twitter or Snapchat or "Look at me I'm an attention whore.com" page, but because I do use Facebook and because I like that I can stay connected with many people who I probably wouldn't otherwise, I can't completely shut that one down. But what I can say is that, when people post photos incessantly of other people "mid" living their lives, there is something stagnant about the entire situation. The life has just been taken out of the live moment. "Wait, hold still..." yes, but, how do you know what would have happened next had you not forced them to stop and pose? This "lifus interruptus" has created a whole new sense of "self" or lack thereof. I really hope to God that people aren't taking selfies and using their instagram page during truly meaningful moments like having sex... I'm not talking about recording your endeavors for future viewing, that is old school, I'm talking about blatantly photo documenting the moment before it has a chance to become an engraved part of your consciousness. Why should I bother to remember the details of anything - I have a photo! Reliving a precious moment or a tantalizing experience is closing your eyes and feeling everything that goes along with it, not looking at a photo on your phone and holding it up for the world to see. That implies a need for validation, a hyper desire for that little red thumbs up that you see when someone "likes" something that you've posted. Let's face it, everyone likes to see that little red thing - it's fun to read other people's comments and such, but you know deep down that it doesn't matter who likes it or who doesn't... it only matters that it matters to you. Sure, it's rewarding when close friends and people who you love say hey I really LIKE what you are doing and I'm proud of you, but most people I know don't live their lives so that other people can give them the thumbs up - that's just an added bonus, a pat on the back and that's always nice to get. BUT it seems like more and more, people are taking these photos and videos and posting them for that reason alone! They are not even doing it for themselves but instead so that they can take that moment and draw even more attention to themselves.
People are going to misread what I've said here, but that is always going to be the case whenever I write something down. From this angle, the words say this and from this angle, this... an example... when Ty, the now 7 year old was about 9 months old, we went to Family Fun Time and then to the park after where Thalia met us, now, she may not remember this, but Ty, being the ever precocious child that he was and still is, saw a HUGE pile of newly generated mud. Without even the slightest hesitation, Ty proceeded to the mud and began to poke it and put his hands in it and next thing you know, he is sitting in it, laughing, squealing, throwing the mud - letting it fly in his hair and on his face and on everything around him. He giggled and got it in his mouth and laughed with that whole body, all encompassing laughter that only babies and toddlers can... I swear, I stood there for a full 10 minutes just letting him play, laughing along with him until tears started to roll down my face. Just the joy of him enjoying something so simple and so seemingly random - it is one of my favorite memories from his "babyhood." Now, I'm not going to lie, Ty would love to see that video today - he would get such a kick out of watching himself at that age, but in that moment, it was all about him, and me and Thalia and Jackson, watching and laughing and being disgusted by the sight of him eating some of that mud and, quietly, Thalia took just one photo which she later gave to me and which now hangs on a cupboard in the kitchen and, it is one of my favorite photos of Ty. She didn't stop his play or shout his name or try to get the perfect shot. She just aimed, shot and captured that crazy little guy doing his thing. Does this example negate my argument? It really doesn't, because as much as I love that photo and I do and so does Ty, we love to experience that memory together even more. I describe it to him and he laughs and asks questions and I am reminded that we both really lived that moment; we shared it. Stories and sharing ideas are a huge part of what makes us human, not selfies where the camera is positioned in exactly the right way. Photographs are lovely and wonderful and ... art forms, but the sharing of moments is even more so. The constant interruption of these moments continues to perpetuate a generation of people that are "piecemealed" together. They don't read books, they use Sparknotes. They don't ride bikes, they play cycle video games.
We are a fractured people, a broken society - interrupted and disjointed by blasts of information and an incessant need to be recognized by others. Maybe that's the way it will always be because we are fallible and we do seek the approval of others, particularly of our peers, but, does that mean that there is no way to create some kind of a balance? Technology offers us options, but that is all they are with social media and implements that are "additional," just because they are offered doesn't mean you have to take them. Wait, I think that is the argument that the DARE program used when they talked about why you shouldn't do drugs...
The thing is, we aren't perfect, we don't look, act or behave perfectly and our visual recordings shouldn't reflect an absence of our weaknesses, our frailty or, our humanism. Rather, they should reflect those moments that are disjointed and, quite frankly, "wrong." Why else would shows like America's Funniest Home Videos be so popular?!? We like to see imperfection and mistakes, maybe more than we like to see everything done smoothly. We like to laugh and to make fun, but we want that to be genuine and in the moment. I saw a teenage girl the other day, riding a strand cruiser behind two of her friends who were in front of her, each of them on his own skateboard and she was "monologuing" into her cell phone while recording them on their skateboards... the bike was wobbling and, I'm not going to lie, I had a moment where I was hoping she'd smash right into something so I could yell, "Get off that fucking phone and ride your damn bike!" but alas, she righted the bike and there was no physical harm done. No harm done... well, that's debatable.
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