You think it's tough when people ask you for money? You think it's burdensome and tiring to have to hear the why's and the where's and the what for's? You think it's a hassle to have to write yet ANOTHER check to some charity that you would never support or might not even consider giving money to because you are going to Nordstrom Rack this weekend? You know what I have to say to all those questions, you know what the answer is... FUCK YOU and your excuses. Harsh, maybe, necessary, probably, warranted, most definitely...
It is with the deepest sincerity that I have accepted and been given donations from friends and family members during the course of the last 3 marathons that I have run; APLA in Los Angeles, UNICEF and Autism Speaks in New York and now, once more for APLA in Los Angeles. I was moved and thankful (still am) by the support that people have shown to me and to the causes that I represented in these various races. I will be forever indebted to everyone who sent well wishes and who gave funds especially now when it is one of the most difficult times in the history of our economy. Again, I sincerely appreciate the kindness that was shown. And, that is the reason why I am having a hard time swallowing the responses that I have gotten of late in terms of asking again for help and for donations. As I sit here, exasperated and exhausted, I am considering what might be the driving force behind people's lack of enthusiasm for donating this time around, besides the fact that money is tight. That goes without saying. So, walk with me as I ponder the factors and then... well, we'll see and then.
I accept the fact that people, the same people are tired of me asking. I accept the fact that frankly,they are probably just tired of me. I accept the fact that the marathon running thing has lost its lustre. I mean, she's done 3, how many more does she need to do? I accept the fact that there are other charities and organizations that people support and that I am not the only person asking for money; hell, I'm probably one of 20 who asked this month alone and, if your kids go to public school,then the checkbook is fringed with ash from burning through that money. I accept the fact that many people just don't like me and that's okay too. I mean I can be a real first rate bitch sometimes and often to the people who I love the most. I accept the fact that people just don't care and that they wear their apathy like a baby seal fur coat: blatantly obvious and simultaneously ridiculous. I accept the fact that the holidays just passed and we spent alot of money and yada, yada, yada... Yeah well, I'll remember that the next time you want me to support your kid's team or your business or to buy Girl Scout Cookies. I'll remember that the next time I see you holding a $5 cup of coffee or wearing a pair of Jimmy Choo's. Look, I have no problem with people spending their money however they see fit and I do not have access to their tax returns and subsequently the information regarding their donations to non-profit organizations throughout the year. I realize that I am being judgemental. I KNOW THAT. That's the whole fucking point.
Nothing gets done without persistence and effort and time and sometimes, well, Joe Pesci. Maybe I just need to threaten to put people's heads in individual vices and then... okay, sort of a violent image there, but frustration often leads to violence and if you know me well, you know I'm not above bringing a tire iron to your house to collect that cash. Just try me.
I know it's hard to give money, especially when you think you don't have it. But the point is, every single person who I ask does have it. No, they might not have $50 or $25 or even $10 so they give nothing. This too is a point that I make frequently, if instead of 20 people giving nothing, how about 20 people giving $5? Look how quickly that adds up! I know that some people are thinking, well, what if my name shows up and I only gave $5? That's going to look bad or that's not enough. Then give MORE dammit, simple solution. No, really, donations can be completely anonymous and more importantly, the smallest amounts do matter! For $7 UNICEF can provide clean drinking water for 2 people for a month! And for $12 you can buy a bag of groceries for someone living with HIV/AIDS. Think about that. No, really, think about that.
I really like funerals of people who have lived a full life. It's never pleasant and it's very difficult when a child dies or someone is cut down early or someone suffered verily before his/her death. But when you are celebrating a person's life,someone who loved life and who demonstrated a passion for things and for people, it can be quite something to witness. And while I have loved listening to many eulogies; one in particular in which a daughter eulogized her father, was probably the most wonderful tribute by one human being to another that I've ever heard or read, I have a problem when I hear people say, "I wish that we could have done more" or "I should have tried harder to help him" or "My life won't be the same without her." The problem is exacerbated by the issue that stems from the notion that all of these statements could readily be avoided if YOU DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW instead of waiting until the person is no longer there. Hug them now, visit them now, make them a sandwich, have sex with them, buy them a puppy, whatever. My problem is with people who wait for the opportune moment to act and then they are shocked when they didn't recognize that it was floating right past them at the same moment when they were waiting. I want my eulogy delivered by one of my sons or by all three and all I want them to say is this, "She cared enough to try to make a difference in the world." That's it. That's enough.
Look, this diatribe is not going to win me any popularity contests but I don't give a flying fuck about any of that. What I care about is you and the people around you and more than that, the people around all of us who need our help. Children, families, brothers, parents, neighbors. Children are dying daily from diseases that could be prevented by simply providing them with clean water. People are living on the streets, living with HIV, trying to find a reason to live. Parents are trying to figure out how to carve out lives for their children with Autism while they hold one another and try to stay strong in the never ending journey ahead. Yes people die every day and so will you and so will I. But we have a chance to decide how the course will lay itself out for people who we will never meet; we have the opportunity of a lifetime to create hope in places where it doesn't exist. We have an obligation to pass on the joy of giving to our families through our united efforts and through the sweat, tears and yes, finances that we share.
This really is not about me. It has very little to do with me. If I don't raise the $800 by January 20th, I will write a check for that amount to APLA and then I will run, regardless of how the money is raised. And I don't have it. I don't have $800. I don't have $25. But you know what, I'll figure it out. Because APLA does the kind of work that will change the course of our history; we might not see it in our lifetimes, but we will have been a part of an organization that mattered, to people, to the planet and to life. I have been extraordinarily proud to have been a small cog in the giant wheel that is the group of special and innovative people who make up this fabulous charity. And I hope that you know, that you feel, that you are a part of it too. When you donate ANYTHING and when you come out and offer your support and when you make that extra effort, you do make a difference. You are the difference.
I feel better now. Venting does wonders for the mood elevators; it sends them right through the roof. I look around my house and I think of my formal education and I hear my children yelling and laughing upstairs as they get ready for bed and I think, I am very lucky and I am blessed and I have worked hard. And I just want what you want, what we all want, what we all want... children in the Sudan and children with Autism and men, women and children living with HIV and AIDS, we want dignity and respect and we want life. We want to live.
I am not above begging and I am certainly not above asking for the 1000th time because tomorrow it will be the 1001st, please, please make a donation. Don't even think about me, again, it has nothing to do with me. But it has everything to do with YOU!
A new year, A new start, A new chance to change someones life. Does it really get much better than that? http://apla.convio.net/goto/yvettehawley
Thank You...
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