Birthdays

I don't really feel like writing, but I'm going to anyway since it's my birthday and I guess, at the very least, that there will be a post with the date on it. Is that a good enough reason? Probably not, but here goes anyway. I had a great day today. Went to the Dodger game with my siblings: Rich, Steve and Christine, with my huband, Tim, my nephew, Luke, and with Jake and Nick. We didn't take Ty which turned out to be a blessing as he most certainly would have flown off of the top tier of seats where we were seated. We ate too much, yelled too much and sang along with all of the songs that were played between innings. We bought overpriced hats and beer and soda and we had the best freaking time, well, at least I did. It seemed like everyone did.

Turning 41 really doesn't mean much to me. The number that is; I guess I'm not yet at the point where the number renders me paranoid or leads me to start lying. Nope, I like to look at it simply. I have accomplished many things in my 41 years, most of which I set out to do deliberately and, of course, a few that I did not. But, that's probably the case for everyone. I'm not happy all the time, I'm not as thin as I'd like to be. I eat too much chocolate, I forget to wear my sunglasses, I don't sleep enough and, most days, I'd like to laugh more. Some days though, like today, make up for that tenfold. My brothers and my sister are always a fun crowd to spend the day with and we just don't do that enough.

I really hate it when people say, "Don't you wish you were 20 or you could be 17 again?" Honestly, Hell no. Somedays I'd like my old body back, but I really think this and I'm not bullshitting right now, I had my chance to be 17 and 20 and 28 and 32 and I was granted a year for each of those ages; a year to take advantage of and to make things happen and, I am where I am now because of the way that I lived those years. Do I regret some of those years or choices? Of course. Would I change some of the decisions? Probably. Do I feel self pity and remorse because I can't? Absolutely not. I feel better than I ever have, even on my worst day because now, coming into my forties, I feel like the physical, the emotional and the mental are starting to align. And, with a bit more time, that hopefully, I can reach a place where life becomes less about "have to" and more about "want to." I would really like that.

So, another year gone by and in a few short hours, it will be someone else's turn to blow out the candles and open a gift or read a card or be visited by friends and family. I wish you all another year filled with surprises and laughter and Dodger games with your loved ones! Happy Birthday to me! :)