Lu

You know, little girls and teenagers talk about their "BFF's" and they have little necklaces and friendship bracelets and they text each other all the time and they get mad when someone else comes along and tries to steal their "BFF"; this kind of nonsense cracks me up. It's silly in its own right, but I suppose it does have a place, somewhere.

I just got done chatting with my BFF via Facebook. Impersonal sometimes, but highly practical given that we both have three children and part time jobs and issues that pervade our forty something year old lives that we didn't have 10 years ago; some that make us laugh and many that make us sigh and wish we were just a little bit younger. I wanted to give her something back by grasping her hand and taking her for a stroll down friendship lane with me. So Lu, this one is for you.

She met my husband before I did; she introduced us actually, but that begs the question, "Why didn't she date him first?" Still wondering about that one. She took care of me when I blacked out from doing too many shots of Tequila, after I vomited in the cab on the way home from the club, kindly paying the cab driver when he asked for money to "clean up his cab." She made a Karaoke tape with me of that infamous song "Lean on Me" which I still have and which is so horrible that I cannot even stand listening to it except when I need to laugh hysterically, but I hold on to it, mainly for future blackmail purposes. She held me back and didn't let me get into the van with the bartender who I would have ended up flat on my back with (damn it!) and she assured me that it would be okay when I did something stupid or dumb which, incidentally, I did often. She went on vacation with me and she laughed when I drove through a puddle with the window open and the water splashed the entire left side of my face. She took me dancing and she was in the limo on the way to the senior prom. She taught me humility and dignity and she always made sure that I was okay even if I didn't want to be and she is my biggest cheerleader...
She puts up with my mood swings and she lets me stay at her house. She eats pie with me, even when we haven't first eaten anything else and she always, always, encouraged me to do whatever the hell it is I wanted. She taught me to see the world with bigger eyes and to listen to my heart rather than to my defined upbringing that clouded my vision and she has always shown a "blindness" to the race, sex, creed, politics or to any other "label" that people use to deny acceptance of one human being from another and I admire her for that; I respect her for that.

I don't have a lot of friends and I'm okay with that. Like I've said, not everyone gets me nor do they want to and that's fine. But the few friends that I do have, the ones who I care about, are some of the finest human beings that you could ever know. And, I could hold up any one of these people, faults and all and they'd still be 1000 times better on their worst day than I am on my best day.

What I think is the most fascinating thing about our 25+ year friendship is that we don't see eye to eye on many things. But she makes we want to understand the other point of view and I never could see that before. She makes me want to challenge myself and to ask the questions that I don't want to ask and she forces me to look my beliefs in the mirror and evaluate their worth. I like that about her. I like that she doesn't give in easily and I love that she'll tell you off to your face, but in such a way that sometimes you don't even realize that it's happening. She's diplomatic and stubborn, intelligent and educated, she's serious and fun. And she understands me. Not an easy thing to do. I can't actually remember the first time that I met her, but I know it was in junior high because we all used to play little league softball at the same place and we all kind of "knew" each other then, but it was in high school when we really got the chance to know each other and to share those moments that are both worth sharing and some that you'd like to forget. Many you'd like to forget...

Where we used to talk about clothes and vacations and boys, our conversation just ended with how we should be eating pie and the use of Viagra, along with a side helping of MRI's and arthritis. But that's what a good friendship is; a buffet. You start with all you can eat and then you work your way through the unnecessary time wasting stuff and you finish with the luscious, the frivolous. And no matter what we discuss or what is going on in our lives, we always laugh; the dessert of the relationship. She is the whipped cream and I am definitely the nuts...

Lu knows me better than anyone else, better than my husband, my kids, even my parents and yet, she still talks to me. Surprising, at least to me, but then again, maybe I fulfill some kind of "helping the less fortunate" quota where she's concerned and, if not, I'll just count my blessings that I have someone in my life who is a grounded part of my past and who helps me live in the present and who will always be a part of my future. Blondie!

I love you Lu...